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Let's persuade Apple to start making i-Guns here
by Andrew Barbano
Oct 23, 2013 | 1937 views | 5 5 comments | 25 25 recommendations | email to a friend | print
Apple Computer is the most valuable, rich and famous company in the world. Its brand has replaced longtime global leader Coca-Cola. And who was IBM?

The Jobs Corp. has just released a passel of new products including the iPhone5s, which offers the ultimate safeguard against the growing and sometimes lethal crime of cel-phone theft.

The i-5s will only work for the person whose fingerprint is scanned into it.

Such a system wouldn't fly for one of the most lethal weapons in America: the automobile. Any drunk can stick a finger on an optical scanner.

But Apple's adaptation of an already widely used security technology could be applied to another product even more lethal than cars. (No, not the cigarette.)

Fingerprint scanners should be adapted for all firearms. No match, no shoot. No more dogs accidentally wasting their masters, or worse.

The Nutso Rifle Association and its elected moonhowler minions have blocked gunlocks for years.

However, what was once a taboo can become mainstream in a short time. Recreational marijuana use jumped 10 points nationally in just the past year.

An innovation is no good without smart marketing. Witness churches.

Have you ever stopped to think about religion sales?

St. Peter and the followers of Jesus set about proselytizing the world and naturally met with resistance.

In order to break through people's preoccupations and prejudices, you gotta have a gimmick, something I'm sure the apostles realized millennia before carnivorous MadMen roamed Madison Avenue.

The selling point had to be that the new, improved God is better than the old God your parents worshipped-which is basically the same reason that the Oldsmobile is no longer being manufactured. Bad name. Turned off the horny kiddies looking for a big back seat.

Sts. Peter and Paul came up with a world class marketing gimmick: Our principal prophet rose from the dead. Top that.

Oh, by the way, he was conceived in the biblical version of in-vitro, not by the messy old-fashioned method. And best of all, it turned out that he was God himself.

Thus was a Jewish community organizer from Nazareth marketed as the new, improved God of the gentiles.

It has proven to be a very successful campaign gimmick for more than 2,000 years.

When Sony co-founder Akio Morita green-lighted the Walkman, he was advised that it would never sell. It required wearing earphones, something associated with hard-of-hearing old people.

Not to worry, said the old man. We will make wearing headphones in public cool.

Which is exactly what Apple can do for scanner gunlocks.

It won't take more insane school shootings such as happened here Monday.

It simply requires a smart marketer to make gun locks cool.

Apple will get $89 million in corporate welfare for moving some operations here. Let them earn it.

A hip iGun available in many colors?

A concept to die for.

Esté bien. Haga infierno.

Be well. Raise hell.

Andrew Barbano is a 45-year Nevadan and editor of Barbwire by Barbano has originated in the Tribune since 1988. E-mail
Comments-icon Post a Comment
October 25, 2013
Wow! The author has managed to combine anti-gun rhetoric with anti-Christian rhetoric. A polemical tour-de-force!

But on the substance, why would anyone bet their life on an unproven technology like this? Firearms are nearly a one thousand year old technology (if you count Chinese cannons). What makes anyone think that there's an easy technological solution?
Mr. Zsaz
October 25, 2013
I don't know what is more comical, this article that is seemingly written by an emotional 5 year old that has no grasp on facts, or the fact that I am building a Palmetto State Armory rifle as I read it. Even if I were to agree with the author, which I don't, it is still an emotional whine-fest by a child.
Mark Crist
October 25, 2013
The big challenge with putting biometric locks on firearms is their reliability. There are two ways such locks can fail, by not allowing an authorized user to unlock the weapon, or letting an unauthorized user have access. Both failures can be disastrous.

One problem with requiring biometric locks on guns is that many of these laws exempt law enforcement and military from being subject to them. If it isn't reliable enough for police and military to trust their lives, why is it ok to require everyone else to trust their lives to it?

If a biometric system becomes reliable enough that the police and military adopt it, I'll give it a look. Until then I'll stick to the more reliable old school equipment.
October 24, 2013
"The Nutso Rifle Association and its elected moonhowler minions have blocked gunlocks for years."

This statement just killed any and all credibility to your article, period...
October 24, 2013

The NRA not only has endorsed gun locks for years, they give them away at events. They encourage gun owners to lock all of their guns. They also endorse gun safes that have biometric locks on them and they have a safety program for young adults.

What we really need is to instill personal responsibility in our society. We used to have it at one time but now every event that occurs is somebody else's fault. It's easier to blame guns than to try and find a real solution.

You need to take your anti-gun views to California. They'll fit in much better there.
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